Facebook hit an almost unbelievable benchmark last week; 500 million users since its genesis 6 years ago. It’s hard to even remember the online world without Facebook. Once it came on the scene, social networking went from burgeoning phenomenon to omnipresent entity. And what makes Facebook Facebook is the base of interconnected people on which it runs: Friends. Well, sort of.
After family, friends are the most important relationships in our lives. They provide comfort, companionship, support:
“Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him that is alone when he falls, for he has not another to help him up" Kohelet
But what have your Facebook friends done for you lately?
It’s taken a while, but after 6 years of Facebook it’s become clear that a Facebook friend does not necessarily a real friend make. Writer Hal Niedzviecki learned this the hard way when he invited his 700 Facebook friends to a little real world get-together.
A friend is hard to come by. Building friendships requires time, care and intention. The Hebrew word for friend is ‘chaver’. A ‘chaver’ is more than just some person you know. The very root of the word comes from the Hebrew word for ‘attachment’ or ‘connection’. Never mind hundreds, you are fortunate if you have a handful of true friends in a lifetime.
So, why not do something radical? Take a friend off the screen and engage them in your real life. Help them move, or go out for a coffee. Facebook can be more than just an online platform, it can be the beginning of a beautiful friendship, but it requires that you initiate some real world action. And when you have one, you wouldn’t trade a true friend for anything–not even a very large hamburger.
Make the connection,
Rabbi Shmulik Yeshayahu
Upcoming featured events (click for more info):
Miriam's Legacy
Kollel Hiking Club
Dinner for Singles
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
I Love You. Let's Fight!
The road to love and marriage can be buuuuuuuuumpy. It’s all so complicated: Does he think her hobbies are boring? Does she think he respects her intellect? Can they stand each other’s parents? Just how do you find that perfect someone?
There are so many variables, so many moving parts to consider when looking for a mate. It makes you wonder which one is the most important. That one’s pretty difficult to pinpoint and I suspect that if you ask 50 people, you’d get 50 different answers. When it comes to divorce, however, one factor stands out:
The number one predictor of divorce is the habitual avoidance of conflict.
The research is very clear: If you’re trying to figure out who will make it and who will not, just look at how they fight. In some ways, it seems to go against all reason. It would make sense to assume that those who fight are in more trouble than those who don’t, but that’s just not the case. It’s not that you argue, it’s how you do it.
Judaism completely acknowledges the fact that humans often disagree. In Bereishis, just after G-d created Adam, we are told:
“And the Lord G-d said, 'It is not good that man is alone; I shall make him a helpmate opposite him.'"
Why "a helpmate opposite him"? Why not “for him” or “with him”? The commentators say that G-d did not create woman to merely be second banana to man, but to be his equal so that they might keep each other in check. He intended there be a back and forth exchange of ideas in a relationship; a meeting of minds in complete partnership.
If G-d validates and respects the fact that we can be in conflict in a healthy way, shouldn’t we? Running away from conflict is really just running away from the opportunity for a stronger relationship.
Speak up and be happy,
Rabbi Shmulik Yeshayahu
Upcoming featured events (click for more info):
Absolute Love
Miriam's Legacy
Hiking Club
There are so many variables, so many moving parts to consider when looking for a mate. It makes you wonder which one is the most important. That one’s pretty difficult to pinpoint and I suspect that if you ask 50 people, you’d get 50 different answers. When it comes to divorce, however, one factor stands out:
The number one predictor of divorce is the habitual avoidance of conflict.
The research is very clear: If you’re trying to figure out who will make it and who will not, just look at how they fight. In some ways, it seems to go against all reason. It would make sense to assume that those who fight are in more trouble than those who don’t, but that’s just not the case. It’s not that you argue, it’s how you do it.
Judaism completely acknowledges the fact that humans often disagree. In Bereishis, just after G-d created Adam, we are told:
“And the Lord G-d said, 'It is not good that man is alone; I shall make him a helpmate opposite him.'"
Why "a helpmate opposite him"? Why not “for him” or “with him”? The commentators say that G-d did not create woman to merely be second banana to man, but to be his equal so that they might keep each other in check. He intended there be a back and forth exchange of ideas in a relationship; a meeting of minds in complete partnership.
If G-d validates and respects the fact that we can be in conflict in a healthy way, shouldn’t we? Running away from conflict is really just running away from the opportunity for a stronger relationship.
Speak up and be happy,
Rabbi Shmulik Yeshayahu
Upcoming featured events (click for more info):
Absolute Love
Miriam's Legacy
Hiking Club
Thursday, July 15, 2010
I Can't Thank You Enough
There’s an interesting Youtube video that’s been buzzing around the web recently. It depicts a double rainbow captured in Yosemite, California. Nice, but how has that managed to garner several million views in a world where people are looking for the next crazy thing? The real magic of the video is in the running commentary of the guy behind the camera. Talk about emotional! He expresses such profound appreciation for the phenomenon that it’s hard not to be moved.
At first, it seems this fellow gets a bit carried away with his experience of something so simple. But is that really the case? Hashem put rainbows in the sky as the sign of a covenant that he made with us so many years ago. Maybe we should all take a whole lot more notice. In fact, there’s even a bracha for such an event. Upon seeing a rainbow, one should say:
Baruch ata Ado-nai Elo-heinu melech ha'olam zocher ha'bris v'ne'eman bivriso v'kayam b'ma'amaro.
Blessed are You, Hashem, our G-d, who remembers the treaty, is trustworthy in His treaty, and fulfills His word.
Double Rainbow Guy never uses these words, but the sentiment is hard to miss:
Thanks, G-d, for being so amazing.
Gratefully yours,
Rabbi Shmulik Yeshayahu
At first, it seems this fellow gets a bit carried away with his experience of something so simple. But is that really the case? Hashem put rainbows in the sky as the sign of a covenant that he made with us so many years ago. Maybe we should all take a whole lot more notice. In fact, there’s even a bracha for such an event. Upon seeing a rainbow, one should say:
Baruch ata Ado-nai Elo-heinu melech ha'olam zocher ha'bris v'ne'eman bivriso v'kayam b'ma'amaro.
Blessed are You, Hashem, our G-d, who remembers the treaty, is trustworthy in His treaty, and fulfills His word.
Double Rainbow Guy never uses these words, but the sentiment is hard to miss:
Thanks, G-d, for being so amazing.
Gratefully yours,
Rabbi Shmulik Yeshayahu
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Hey, Man. Do You Have Change for the HST?
I recently spoke to a friend who lives in Toronto. I asked him about the anti-HST activities taking place in Ontario. He had no idea what I was talking about. I was shocked. Anyone who lives in B.C. is well aware of the much publicized and strongly supported anti-HST petitions circulating throughout the province. Why here and not there? Why this issue and not the hundreds of others that cross our radar every year?
Remember Dr. Martin Luther King's historic “I Have a Plan” speech? No? That’s because he never made such an address. He understood that a revolutionary idea is one that yanks at the heart, evokes emotion, and incites passions. Logical blueprints for reaching rational goals just don’t cut it when you’re trying to whip a crowd into an inspired frenzy. People will get behind a dream. Start merely planning, and you’re on your own.
Just looking back throughout human history (Jewish and otherwise), it’s clear that any movement started for personal gain–fame, money, wives etc.–was ultimately dwarfed by those launched with loftier goals such as of freedom, empowerment, and justice. It turns out that former B.C. Premier Bill Vander Zalm is illustrating an idea found in Pirkei Avos:
“Any argument for the sake of heaven will endure; an argument not for
the sake of heaven will not endure.”
If you are fighting for mere things, the fire in your belly tends to go out when you get what you want. But a fight to promote an idea takes on a life of its own. It goes far beyond a simple initiative; It is the stuff of revolutions.
Anthropologist Margaret Mead may have said it best:
“Never underestimate the power of a few committed people to change the
world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”
So, whether we look at issues such as women’s rights, ecology, civil rights, religious freedom or–on a very current and local level–crushing the HST, we see that passionate people with a strong opinion and higher purpose are the most effective agents of change.
Be the change,
Rabbi Shmulik Yeshayahu
Upcoming featured events (click for more info):
Absolute Love
Miriam's Legacy
Remember Dr. Martin Luther King's historic “I Have a Plan” speech? No? That’s because he never made such an address. He understood that a revolutionary idea is one that yanks at the heart, evokes emotion, and incites passions. Logical blueprints for reaching rational goals just don’t cut it when you’re trying to whip a crowd into an inspired frenzy. People will get behind a dream. Start merely planning, and you’re on your own.
Just looking back throughout human history (Jewish and otherwise), it’s clear that any movement started for personal gain–fame, money, wives etc.–was ultimately dwarfed by those launched with loftier goals such as of freedom, empowerment, and justice. It turns out that former B.C. Premier Bill Vander Zalm is illustrating an idea found in Pirkei Avos:
“Any argument for the sake of heaven will endure; an argument not for
the sake of heaven will not endure.”
If you are fighting for mere things, the fire in your belly tends to go out when you get what you want. But a fight to promote an idea takes on a life of its own. It goes far beyond a simple initiative; It is the stuff of revolutions.
Anthropologist Margaret Mead may have said it best:
“Never underestimate the power of a few committed people to change the
world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”
So, whether we look at issues such as women’s rights, ecology, civil rights, religious freedom or–on a very current and local level–crushing the HST, we see that passionate people with a strong opinion and higher purpose are the most effective agents of change.
Be the change,
Rabbi Shmulik Yeshayahu
Upcoming featured events (click for more info):
Absolute Love
Miriam's Legacy
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Beautiful Thoughts on the Beautiful Game
Imagine if FIFA were to decide that professional soccer is just not fair. If, in their estimation, players on losing teams were left too bummed out after unsuccessful matches, prophets of game outcomes were being publicly ridiculed when they missed the mark, and rabid fans were beside themselves when their favourite team choked in a big match. In short, there were just too many elements that aren’t happy, upbeat and “nice.” Imagine if the governing body of the sport decided to carefully monitor all games and constantly move players around in order to keep things perpetually, strictly equal. Participation ribbons for everyone. No surprises. Ever.
Where’s the fun in that?
The whole point of the sport–any sport–is to train hard and play hard. Moreover, it is to win. Without the carrot of the championship cup or ring, why would anyone put in all that time and energy?
Similarly, instead of just plopping humanity down onto the playing field of life and assuring everyone a smooth ride, Hashem has given us the opportunity for personal growth by placing obstacles in our paths. And he gave us all a spirit that longs to rise to the challenge and thrives on the thrill of victory.
Our experience in the world can very easily be expressed in terms of a soccer game. We are all here on one massive team and our collective goal is to move forward together down the playing field. As we travel, we must concentrate our intentions on the goal of doing mitzvot and generally making the world a better place, whilst also not being taken out by the many obstacles we encounter. Luckily, our daily struggles don’t involve sweaty men in shorts running toward us at high speed. Well, at least, not on most days.
We want to win. G-d wants us to win. And when we do, there is a sense of real joy and pride in a job well done. When we earn it, it feels spectacular. Sure, there are some days when we would just like G-d to figure it all out for us and send the answers down like manna from heaven. In the end, though, wouldn’t that be just like watching a soccer match in which no one breaks a sweat, the fans don’t even bother to show up and no ever actually wins? Thankfully, G-d gives us the opportunity for way more thrills and excitement than that.
And all without the vuvuzelas.
Remember to give it your all,
Rabbi Shmulik Yeshayahu
This week's featured events (click for more info):
Kollel Hiking Club
Singles (20-35) Dinner
P.S. Three guesses as to where you'll find a certain rabbi on Sunday at 11:30...
Where’s the fun in that?
The whole point of the sport–any sport–is to train hard and play hard. Moreover, it is to win. Without the carrot of the championship cup or ring, why would anyone put in all that time and energy?
Similarly, instead of just plopping humanity down onto the playing field of life and assuring everyone a smooth ride, Hashem has given us the opportunity for personal growth by placing obstacles in our paths. And he gave us all a spirit that longs to rise to the challenge and thrives on the thrill of victory.
Our experience in the world can very easily be expressed in terms of a soccer game. We are all here on one massive team and our collective goal is to move forward together down the playing field. As we travel, we must concentrate our intentions on the goal of doing mitzvot and generally making the world a better place, whilst also not being taken out by the many obstacles we encounter. Luckily, our daily struggles don’t involve sweaty men in shorts running toward us at high speed. Well, at least, not on most days.
We want to win. G-d wants us to win. And when we do, there is a sense of real joy and pride in a job well done. When we earn it, it feels spectacular. Sure, there are some days when we would just like G-d to figure it all out for us and send the answers down like manna from heaven. In the end, though, wouldn’t that be just like watching a soccer match in which no one breaks a sweat, the fans don’t even bother to show up and no ever actually wins? Thankfully, G-d gives us the opportunity for way more thrills and excitement than that.
And all without the vuvuzelas.
Remember to give it your all,
Rabbi Shmulik Yeshayahu
This week's featured events (click for more info):
Kollel Hiking Club
Singles (20-35) Dinner
P.S. Three guesses as to where you'll find a certain rabbi on Sunday at 11:30...
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