Friday, March 18, 2011

JOY??? Now?

We are supposed to be happy on Purim. How can we be commanded to feel happy? There is tragedy all over the world – Japan, Israel, Many Middle East and North African countries. It seems as though every day we hear more and more horrible new – this can make one feel scared, worried, depressed, sad and angry. How are we supposed to just turn these emotions off and experience JOY?

The answer of the Torah is that joy is natural and inherent to every person. Joy is not something that we experience as a response to external triggers, but it is a part of us that we need to learn how to reveal. It is part of our essence, but sometimes it is repressed. Experiencing joy means to dig through everything that is suffocating our inner happiness. Just witness the natural happiness and cheerfulness of a young child. The bright joyous face of a child is something that every adult envies. A child begins to lose his natural cheer due to external causes. His inherent joy starts to erode when he begins to experience the disappointments and tragedies of life events, the despondent attitudes of parents, educators and other adults affecting the child.

We access the inner joy innate in each of us by accessing the cheer and enthusiasm of our inner child -- the part of us connected to God that precedes the sadness that life circumstances imposed and continues to impose upon us.

Purim is a day of joyous abandon that transcends conventional boundaries. We are told to celebrate “ad de lo yada” - which means to be joyous until you reach a place beyond the doors of perception, where we transcend dark and light, even the pains and disappointments of our lives. The story of Purim teaches us that despite how dark it gets, even when all hope seems to be lost, the joy of the inner child surfaces in an eruption of joy. It is a delight that transcends any pain you may be dealing with in life.

We cultivate the inner soul child by internalizing the feeling that God put you on Earth for a unique purpose, that we have an indispensable contribution to make, realizing that all else in life pales in comparison to the essential power of our soul.

Joy is contagious. Often when we can't access it on our own, a way of igniting it is by celebrating in dance and song with others. Behavioral change, acting joyous (even when you don't feel like it), coupled with the fact that deep inside (or not so deep) lies a reservoir of pure joy, is a way to actually become joyous.

So it is possible to be happy even while the whole world is experiencing pain???

It’s an interesting custom in Jewish tradition under the chuppah, the wedding canopy, to break the glass at the end of the ceremony. One of the reasons they do this is that it’s a reminder of the destruction of the Temple. So I always wondered, of all times to choose a reminder of the destruction of the Temple, it’s at the high point in two people’s lives, their wedding, the highest simcha, the highest joy? Couldn’t it have been done seemingly at the end of the wedding, or on another day? Why at that high point?

And the point is this. Those who know how to remember others’ pain at the height of their joy will also know how to remember to have joy at their height of pain. *

If you’re sensitive because you’re not so consumed with your own feelings, no matter how justified they are, but you leave that little opening, then one day, if G-d forbid you should be challenged where you’re faced with a trauma or some loss, it also won’t be all consuming. You’ll have that one percent opening of joy and happiness. And I think that’s the balance.

Life is about experiencing it all – we are never %100 happy or %100 sad. We need to learn to find the joy despite the pain, and to be sensitive to the pain despite the joy.

But – Purim is a time to try to uncover the joy, to experience as much happiness as possible!

Happy Purim!

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* Interestingly, when the Jews came out of Egypt (the Egyptians had oppressed the Jewish people for many years, and they were enslaved by them, and after the Jews left Egypt, the Egyptians still didn’t give up but pursued the Jews), and the Egyptians were drowning in the parted sea and the Jews began singing praise to G-d, the Talmud says that G-d said to the Jewish people, “My children are drowning and you’re singing praise?”

Friday, March 11, 2011

Mission Possible:

The computer age and the information revolution have given all of us enormous power and the ability to reach virtually anyone at any time. Yes, technology allows us to live more comfortably and work more efficiently, but can we understand how it makes our lives more meaningful?

On its own, science is neutral; it attempts to give us an objective view of our physical universe and its natural forces, but it does not draw a conclusion as to how we should use these forces. It does not deal with good and evil or with questions of morality.

Technology, as with all forces in our lives, can be used either constructively or destructively. Developments such as television, computers and lasers, discoveries in nuclear energy, medicine, and biology -- these are all instances of G-dly forces that are manifested in nature.

Story:

In the early 1950’s, a couple and their young daughter had a private audience with the Rebbe. After the wife and husband had asked for advice on various issues, the Rebbe turned to the six-year-old girl and asked if she had any questions. Her parents tried to hush her up as she began to speak, so as not to take the Rebbe's valuable time. But the Rebbe encouraged her to go ahead. The little girl, with a concerned look on her face, asked the Rebbe whether he thought that atomic energy was good or bad. “In your kitchen at home, there is a knife,” the Rebbe said. “Is the knife good or bad?” The little girl replied, “It depends what it is used for. If it is used to cut food, then it is good. If it is used to hurt someone, then it is bad.”

“That is a good and true answer,” the Rebbe told her, “and the same could be said for atomic energy or any other technology that man has developed.”

Regarding the advances in communications, the Rebbe would explain how people across the globe, normally divided by space and time, are suddenly unified, creating an opportunity for them to study together, pray together, and resolve to do one more good deed, thereby forming a universal wave of togetherness. “One might think, ‘What can I possibly accomplish sitting in this tiny corner on this huge planet of billions of people?’” the Rebbe said. “Today, we see how one person lighting a candle in his tiny corner can illuminate the entire world.”

So the current technological revolution is in fact the hand of G-d at work; it is meant to help us make G-d a reality in our lives. We can choose to acknowledge the “hand inside the glove,” understanding where the power truly comes from, and use these forces as tools to lead a more meaningful life. Or we can choose to be distracted by the glove, to see technology only as a means unto itself, using it for indulgent, selfish, perhaps even destructive purposes.

There is much to learn from the technological revolution, as long as we understand its role in our lives and see it as a step in our dramatic search for unity throughout the universe. After all, developments in science and technology have taught us to be more sensitive to the intangible and the sublime: the forces behind computers, telephones, television, and so on are all invisible, and yet we fully recognize their power and reach.

Our mission is to always seek to elevate that which is neutral.

Shabbat Shalom!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Parshat Pekudei



If you’ve been following the parshiot weekly, you probably feel a sense of déjà vu when reading Parshat Pekudei. This week’s parsha speaks about the building of the mishkan (tabernacle), and the sewing of the service garments for the priests in the temple. It is the fifth parsha in a row on this subject. The entire story of the creation of the world is written in a single chapter of the Torah; the giving of the Torah at Mt. Sinai, in three chapters; and eleven chapters are used to recount the story of the exodus from Egypt. In contrast, the Torah devotes thirteen chapters to the building of the mishkan!

There is a commonly known rule that the Torah is written in the shortest form possible and there is not even an extra letter in the Torah. Yet, when it comes to the mishkan, the Torah describes the process in detail; not once, but twice! The Torah recounts every detail when G-d commands Moshe to build the mishkan, and yet again when it is actually being built. There is also a very exact account of the materials brought and used in the construction.

  • · What does the mishkan represent?
  • · What is so incredibly important about the mishkan that the Torah feels a need to recount the process of the building in such detail?
  • · Why didn’t the Torah tell us that G-d commanded Moshe to build the mishkan, and that he did so? Do we really need to be told about it twice?

The mishkan was a dwelling place for G-d here on earth. Although G-d can really be wherever He wants, He decided that He wanted a set place where He can “live”. By taking a part in the building of the mishkan, the Jews were creating a home for G-d.

Imagine you are moving to new country. You need your house set up before you move, and cannot travel yet. You ask your friend or partner to set up the home for you. You probably have a lot of ideas about what you want the place to look like; the color of the walls, style of the furniture, the setup of each room. You have a picture in your head of what the finished product should look like and you relay your wishes to your friend.

Your friend goes ahead and finds the right house and starts setting it up to become your home. There are so many details to worry about! There are a couple ways s/he could work on the house. S/he could make sure to do an adequate job or try to get into your head with every single detail to try to make sure that this home feels like yours. Which takes more effort?

The building of the mishkan was not done in a way of “filling the requirements”. When the Jews worked on the mishkan, they did so with G-d in mind every single step of the way! They wanted to make sure it was done in a way that G-d would want, even in the smallest of details. That’s why all the various aspects of the construction were written about, in detail, twice-once as G-d telling Moses exactly what he wanted, and once as the Jews doing everything they could to make sure that Hashem’s will was being fulfilled even in the smallest details.

The mishkan is really a parable for our relationship with another; be it a friend, significant other, spouse, parent or child. Is it enough to say “I love my daughter, and that’s enough; I really don’t need to do anything for her.”? Of course not! The Torah tells us that feelings are not enough. The Torah is explaining to us that it’s the details that matter. It’s the little things that count and show how much we are aware of the other’s needs.

What can you do for the people that are most important in your life to make them feel cherished?

Shabbat Shalom!


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Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Ahavah: Love, or something like it.




The Talmud relates many stories about a Rabbi named Hillel. Hillel was one of the leading rabbis in his generation, and many people respected him. Once, a man who wanted to “put the rabbi in his place” approached Hillel and said, “Teach me the whole Torah while I stand on one foot.”

Hillel, not one to turn down a challenge, answered “What is hateful to you, don’t do unto others. The rest of the Torah is just commentary.”

The concept of treating others the way we want to be treated is written in the Torah as “V’Ahavta L’reacha Kamocha” which translates as “Love your fellow as you love yourself”. This is the mitzvah of Ahavat Yisrael-loving every Jew. We are commanded to love every Jew, even a stranger whom we have never met!

· What does it mean to love another as much as we love ourselves?

· How can we be commanded to love at all? Love is an emotion!

Let’s try to understand what Jewish love is and what being a Jew means and hopefully we will understand how love on this plane is possible.

Let’s start with love. There are many types of love, but they all fit into one of the following two categories, if not both: A love centered on the one who loves, or a love that centers on the one who is loved.

On a very simple level, we use love as a selfish word. I love cake. Why do I love cake? Because I like the way I feel when I eat cake. I enjoy the taste and texture of a good chocolate cake.

Taking it a step further; some people love to ski. There is nothing wrong with skiing, in fact it is good exercise, lots of fun, and will keep you healthy. But why do you love to ski? Is it because you love the sport objectively, or you love the way it makes you feel?

There is another way to love. There is a way to love something or someone for its value regardless of how it affects you.

When you argue with a sibling or a parent, do you no longer love him or her? No, because the love we share for family goes deeper than how they make me feel, we love them for whom THEY are. Even when upset with someone we truly love, we recognize that their good qualities are still there.

The secret of this selfless love lies in appreciating the goodness of the other being regardless of how he or she makes me feel.

The first love, the self-absorbed love is not a choice. I cannot choose how something makes me feel-it just happens that way. When the love is about me, it is more difficult to love someone with imperfections.

On the other hand, the second type of love, the love of recognizing the value of another being, is a love of choice. When thinking about a friend, I can choose which qualities to focus on; the good or the bad. When I appreciate another person for the good that is within them, I begin to feel a love for him or her. When I focus on another person’s weaknesses, it is much harder to feel positively toward him or her. By thinking positive thoughts about another person, I can change the way I feel about him or her.

Ahavah, love according to Judaism, is the latter love. Ahavah is a love that centers on the other. Ahavah is a result of focusing on the positive aspects of the other person. Ahavah is a love of choice; we can choose how we view and feel about other people.

It sounds nice and simple, but in reality it really isn’t. Selflessness is not natural. We are naturally inclined to look out for ourselves and make sure we feel good. That is why we need a commandment to love. We need to be told to look beyond ourselves and work on seeing others for who they are.

Armed with this knowledge, we can set out to love people we know by focusing on what makes them special. We can now understand how it is possible to control the emotion of love. But we are still left with our other question; how can be expected to love another as much as I love myself?

The Torah tells us that all Jews are one unit. Whatever it is that we are going through, we are in it together. Imagine you are working with your friend, building something, and he drops his hammer and it lands on your foot. What is you instinctive reaction? Do you blame him? Are you upset?

Let’s change the scenario a little. You are putting together a bookcase, when your hammer slips from your hand and lands on you shoe. Ouch! Do you get angry at your hand for dropping the hammer? Will you hit yourself in response? If the answer is yes, please seek help immediately.

The Talmud says that our unity is like the unity of the body; we are all part of one entity, even if we are different. When we view another as an extension of ourselves, as part of the same unit, it becomes silly to get angry at their shortcomings. We naturally look beyond our own mistakes and love ourselves despite our imperfections, and can learn how to include others in our sense of “self-love”.

In a way, Ahavat Yisrael is a selfish love, but we choose to include others in our selfishness. We expand our sense of self to include others, thereby creating a world in which mutual love and respect is obvious. It’s not the easiest goal to attain, but definitely makes our existence a more pleasant one.

L’chaim!


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