How to do Business: The way of Abraham

From Abraham we learn the act of generosity. He showed to humanity the concept of being generous and kind to people. One of the things we know about him is that he had his place open all the time and people used to come to him asking him for hospitality; they wanted a warm bed to sleep in, fresh water to drink and food to satiate their empty stomachs. And Abraham would never say no to anyone. But right at the end, before they would leave, he told them they had to either pay or give gratitude to God for everything bestowed upon them. Obviously most people decided to give gratitude to God. This was Abraham’s way of teaching and educating.

In the Torah, we see how genuinely he cared about people — even to the people of Sodom, who were known for wickedness. To these people, he even asked God to be merciful, hoping some righteousness could be found in them. This again reveals Abraham’s generosity.

The question is now, what does Abraham’s generosity have to do with our everyday life? The importance of truly caring about people. The first thing he did was shelter them, give them food, water, a bed to sleep and then after, asked them to do the blessing. Why that way? Shouldn’t it be the other way around? In today’s society, if you want to go to a nice hotel for example, easy. First swipe your credit card and a clerk will start smiling at you and say, “Welcome to our beautiful hotel. Now we’ll take care of you.”

Similarly, if we really wanted people to bless God, wouldn’t it be easier to simply make them do it while people are starving, in dire need of water and a bed? Desperation can come a long way in making people do things.

Abraham teaches us that this is the wrong way to proceed. We have to genuinely care about other individuals so that they can care about us. Abraham and Sarah really took interest in the people that were staying with them. They even personally cooked for them, brought them water, and made sure they had a warm bed to sleep.

Once you take care of a person’s physical needs, that’s when you really get them interested in what you have to say. They know you care about them and you’re simply not trying to make them buy something for your own sake — they know you are doing it for their sake. Showing this quality of true generosity, Abraham started a big following, changed the world and made people really listen to his idea of praying to one God. People understood Abraham was genuinely doing it for their own good. That is why we see the belief of one God spreading with him and not with any of the earlier predecessors.

The concept of generosity unfortunately, is not something commonly practiced in today’s business. We see companies spending millions of millions to make people feel unsatisfied and unhappy with their lives. To make them feel as if they are missing something in order to convince them to buy new goods or services. Marketing these days uses concepts to create this state of mind: “Hey! You shouldn’t be happy. You don’t have this and you don’t have that.”

Abraham teaches us that a true sense of care for individuals is more important. It is the key to success. By doing it, you will be able to deliver your point a lot more effectively and people will truly listen to you. They know that what you tell them comes from a place of true care and concern. And that is very important: to succeed in life and business show true care and compassion. When you genuinely do that, people will buy your idea and you might even change the world in the process.

Doing the Impossible Possible

Written by: Rabbi Shmulik Yeshayahu and Eitan Olevsky

In the Torah portion of Lech Lecha, G-d took Abraham outside, and said to him, "Please look heavenward and count the stars, if you are able to count them." And He said to him, "So will be your children."

This portion of the Torah is very symbolic. When G-d takes Abraham outside, what He is really doing is taking man out of himself. As humans, we tend to live in a world where we create our own box for ourselves— and what’s worse, we trap ourselves there, within the confines of society, culture, ideas and presuppositions. That is why we must go “outside”, to be able to think out of the limits of our own box.

G-d then tells Abraham to count the stars, something utterly impossible. Nevertheless, Abraham had the faith, and in doing so, started to count one by one all the stars he could see with his limited eyes. The story goes, that when G-d saw Abraham’s attempt, He promised him that all his children and the generations to follow would be like the stars. Yet, if we analyze how many Jewish people there are around the world, we'll notice there are only a few of us. So what happened? Comparing the coming generations with the stars, was apparently not meant to be understood quantitatively, but more so qualitatively. That is to say, if we believe the impossible to be possible, we can excel in whatever we propose ourselves to do.

So this simple sentence in the Lech Lecha summarizes the secret of our nation: not only are we capable of getting out of the box, but in doing so and with faith, we can also achieve the impossible. That is why Abraham did not doubt when he was told to count the stars. In fact, Abraham embodies the idea of surpassing nature— going beyond it. And that is part of the essence of the Jewish people; being capable of doing the impossible for we don’t feel restrained by the laws of nature. Reason why we have survived in a world where in theory, we shouldn’t have.

This amazing video serves as an example of the impossible taking place. Survival at its best.

Carpe Morning

Beginnings are special.

When was the last time you put on a party hat, blew a noisemaker and raised a glass to usher in January 6th?

Has any kid ever wanted to put off the excitement of Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebrations until 5 months after the big day?

Just landed the job of a lifetime? Would you wait to get a new suit and fresh haircut for your 3rd day at work?

Probably not. Why? Because there is something significant about marking the start of something new. It’s an opportunity to take stock of the past and make plans for something better in the future.

Each morning brings us the opportunity to check in, reflect and reboot. In those first few quiet moments, as we move from dreamland into the light of a new day, we should be mindful of the gift we receive every 24 hours. For thousands of years Jewish tradition has held that we start each day with:

Modeh ani lifanecha melech chai v'kayam shehechezarta bi nishmahti b'chemlah, rabah emunatecha.

I offer thanks before you, living and eternal King, for You have mercifully restored my soul within me; Your faithfulness is great.

For the last decade or so, however, society at large has presented us with a very different morning ritual: beeps, rings, tweets, texts, pokes and on and on and on. Technology has given us a plethora of amazing freedoms, but it also has the potential to take from us, as well.



In this week’s parsha Moses directs B’nei Israel to, among other things, separate a portion of the first fruit harvested in the Land of Israel and bring it to the Kohanim in the Temple. Why not the second 1/3 or the last 1/4? Because the first of anything–the day, year, the harvest– has a special and auspicious quality, and should be used for a higher purpose.

Every morning you have the chance to use the first portion of your day for a higher purpose. Sure, someone out there has sent you a Facebook friend request, and tweets and texts have piled up overnight, but you don’t have to let these rob you of the beauty of a few minutes of physical, mental, spiritual and emotional quiet to start your day.

Make the most of your morning,

Rabbi Shmulik Yeshayahu

Upcoming featured events (click for more info):

Rosh Hashanah Dinner
Rosh Hashanah Service
Tashlich
Meal Before the Fast
Yom Kippur Service

I AM OUTTA HERE!!!

We’ve all been there.

You’re just trying to do your job, but SOMEONE–boss, coworkers, customers (take your pick!)–just will NOT. LAY. OFF. Despite your best attempts SOMEONE just keeps pushing and this time it’s just one push too far.

Freeze.

It’s what happens next that really counts. Do you

a) ignore it
b) take it in stride and laugh it off
c) go to your superior
d) flip out, swear over the intercom, grab a couple of beers and exit via emergency slide?

In the heat of the moment, flight attendant Steven Slater decided to go with what was probably the most dramatic and extreme response possible.



Judging by his meteoric rise to pop culture fame, it’s pretty clear that most people have been in similar situations and felt similar rage on the job. The fact that Slater is being dubbed “The Working Man’s Hero” attests to the degree to which his episode of workplace frustration struck a chord with just about everyone.

The problem is this: There is nothing heroic about losing it and striking out at those around you. They say that discretion is the better part of valour. King Solomon put it this way:

"It is a wise man's good sense to be slow to anger, and his glory to pass over a transgression." Proverbs (19:11)

Let’s look at another translation, shall we?

“A person of great understanding is patient, but a short temper is the height of stupidity.”

Kinda puts it all in perspective, doesn’t it?

The Rambam brings forth the wisdom of the early Sages when he points out that “Whoever angers is as if he has performed idolatry.” Pretty harsh words. But the truth often is. Think about what he’s saying here: Angry people no longer have control over themselves. They are slaves to the emotion.

So, even though we can empathize with Steven Slater, let’s not glorify his spectacular behaviour. Into every life a little rain must fall. Unfortunately, sometimes it comes down in buckets. And when it does, take a moment and think before you act.

Let a cooler head prevail,

Rabbi Shmulik Yeshayahu

Upcoming featured events (click for more info):

Rosh Hashanah Dinner
Rosh Hashanah Service
Tashlich
Meal Before the Fast
Yom Kippur Service

What Would Naomi Campbell Do?

Charles Taylor, former President of Liberia, has been on trial for war crimes in the Hague for the last couple of years and, by and large, the general public has shown little interest. Until now.

(Enter supermodel.)



Naomi Campbell has, for some time, refused to become involved with the trial. Frankly, not that surprising. Would you be excited to testify in open court against a man accused of slaughtering thousands? Probably not. Well, Naomi's luck finally ran out and she was forced to take the stand last week. She maintains that in 1997, mysterious visitors knocked on her door and gave her a bag of dirty looking stones from an equally mysterious benefactor. Others claim that she knew the sender was a despotic warlord and that the stones were precious gems mined using slave labour.

So, here’s the deal: From a Jewish perspective, can such a gift possibly be kosher?

The Talmud makes it clear that the recipient of a gift or charity has the responsibility to make sure that what he is accepting is on the up and up. It’s not enough to just turn a blind eye and assume that the blame rests with the person who committed the original crime. And even if we are only suspicious about the source, we must err on the side of caution. Similarly, secular law dictates that it is illegal to receive property or benefit from a crime.

Parshas Shoftim talks about the responsibility of B’nei Israel to set up a system of judges, magistrates, and officers to maintain law and order:

"You shall set up judges and law enforcement officials for yourself in all your cities that the Lord, your God, is giving you, for your tribes, and they shall judge the people [with] righteous judgment."

The parsha speaks of judges both in the plural and in the singular: The plural refers to the many judges needed to keep society running smoothly and the singular refers to each individual as a personal judge of his own conduct. We are all required to judge the rightness and wrongness of situations and guard against bad influences entering our neshama. It is as though we are the city and we must set up guards to protect ourselves from any negative elements trying to invade us.

Simply doing the right thing for yourself is not good enough. Hashem requires you to stay away from even the whiff of impropriety. Ms. Campbell learned the very hard and very public way that being associated with anything immoral is just asking for trouble. Keeping away from negative influences in your life brings you one step closer to the path of righteous behaviour that Hashem laid out for the Jewish people so many years ago. It was a good idea then and clearly (just ask Naomi), it still is.

Keep your hands clean and your conscience clear,

Rabbi Shmulik Yeshayahu

Upcoming featured events (click for more info):

Rosh Hashanah Dinner
Rosh Hashanah Service
Tashlich
Meal Before the Fast
Yom Kippur Service

Someone Has to Be the Grownup

Monday, August 2, 2010: Lindsay Lohan is released from prison and reenters rehab.



The tale of Lindsay Lohan is extremely sad, with a dose of pathetic sprinkled on top. She was a cute child (actor) who started doing commercials at 3 years old. And it pretty much went downhill from there.

Lindsay didn’t stand much of a chance. Ultimately, she, like everyone else, is 100% responsible for her actions. But it is really difficult to overlook the negative influences in her life before she even got to kindergarten. Never mind whether it’s generally a good idea to have a young child doing more than a 100 jobs before her teens, let’s think about the motivation behind it all.

From a Jewish perspective, children are a gift from G-d and parents are charged with doing everything they can to nurture and guide them toward a happy and healthy life of their own. Once you become a parent, it’s no longer all about you. Perhaps no one ever mentioned this to Mr. and Mrs. Lohan.

There is a very famous Bible story in which two women are fighting over the custody and identity of a baby. Each mother insists that the child is her own flesh and blood. Unfortunately, DNA testing only became readily available in the 1990’s, so that wasn’t an option. How was King Solomon going to figure this one out? He decided to let the women know that the fairest way around the problem was to give 1/2 of the baby to each of them. One of the women thought that sounded fabulous. The other begged the king not to harm the child and to simply hand it over to the other woman. Rather than getting her “fair share,” she put the welfare of the child before her own happiness.

The commentators ask the following question: Was Solomon planning to literally cut the child in two? Not likely, they say. It sounds more like a shared custody situation; the child shuttled back and forth between two “mothers,” with two identities, and two very different lives. Better than being sliced in half, but detrimental, nonetheless.

The Rabbeim teach very clearly that, among other things, parents are to give children a clear message of values that they can use to direct their path throughout life. Chasing fame, fortune, money and glamour at the expense of–and on the very backs of–our children couldn’t be further away from that ideal.

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis is an icon of style and glamour, but she also clearly understood her role as mother, as well. She once said one of the wisest things to come out of a Kennedy:

“If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do well matters very much. “

Instead of just wallowing in the tasty, gossipy nature of the Lindsay Lohan story, what can we take away from it?

First of all, let’s wish Lindsay well. At 24, she has, G-d willing, a long life ahead of her and the chance to make something wonderful of her privilege and opportunities. Also, let’s see it as a cautionary tale and the springboard for a great mitzvah. When you look at your children, see the opportunities for greatness: Just make sure that you define greatness as more than just money, power or fame. Deeper values make for healthy, complete human beings.

Aim higher,

Rabbi Shmulik Yeshayahu

Upcoming featured events (click for more info):

Kollel Hiking Club
Dinner for Singles
Kollel Business Club

With Facebook Friends Like These...

Facebook hit an almost unbelievable benchmark last week; 500 million users since its genesis 6 years ago. It’s hard to even remember the online world without Facebook. Once it came on the scene, social networking went from burgeoning phenomenon to omnipresent entity. And what makes Facebook Facebook is the base of interconnected people on which it runs: Friends. Well, sort of.

After family, friends are the most important relationships in our lives. They provide comfort, companionship, support:

“Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him that is alone when he falls, for he has not another to help him up" Kohelet

But what have your Facebook friends done for you lately?

It’s taken a while, but after 6 years of Facebook it’s become clear that a Facebook friend does not necessarily a real friend make. Writer Hal Niedzviecki learned this the hard way when he invited his 700 Facebook friends to a little real world get-together.

A friend is hard to come by. Building friendships requires time, care and intention. The Hebrew word for friend is ‘chaver’. A ‘chaver’ is more than just some person you know. The very root of the word comes from the Hebrew word for ‘attachment’ or ‘connection’. Never mind hundreds, you are fortunate if you have a handful of true friends in a lifetime.

So, why not do something radical? Take a friend off the screen and engage them in your real life. Help them move, or go out for a coffee. Facebook can be more than just an online platform, it can be the beginning of a beautiful friendship, but it requires that you initiate some real world action. And when you have one, you wouldn’t trade a true friend for anything–not even a very large hamburger.




Make the connection,

Rabbi Shmulik Yeshayahu

Upcoming featured events (click for more info):

Miriam's Legacy
Kollel Hiking Club
Dinner for Singles

I Love You. Let's Fight!

The road to love and marriage can be buuuuuuuuumpy. It’s all so complicated: Does he think her hobbies are boring? Does she think he respects her intellect? Can they stand each other’s parents? Just how do you find that perfect someone?

There are so many variables, so many moving parts to consider when looking for a mate. It makes you wonder which one is the most important. That one’s pretty difficult to pinpoint and I suspect that if you ask 50 people, you’d get 50 different answers. When it comes to divorce, however, one factor stands out:

The number one predictor of divorce is the habitual avoidance of conflict.

The research is very clear: If you’re trying to figure out who will make it and who will not, just look at how they fight. In some ways, it seems to go against all reason. It would make sense to assume that those who fight are in more trouble than those who don’t, but that’s just not the case. It’s not that you argue, it’s how you do it.

Judaism completely acknowledges the fact that humans often disagree. In Bereishis, just after G-d created Adam, we are told:

“And the Lord G-d said, 'It is not good that man is alone; I shall make him a helpmate opposite him.'"

Why "a helpmate opposite him"? Why not “for him” or “with him”? The commentators say that G-d did not create woman to merely be second banana to man, but to be his equal so that they might keep each other in check. He intended there be a back and forth exchange of ideas in a relationship; a meeting of minds in complete partnership.

If G-d validates and respects the fact that we can be in conflict in a healthy way, shouldn’t we? Running away from conflict is really just running away from the opportunity for a stronger relationship.

Speak up and be happy,

Rabbi Shmulik Yeshayahu

Upcoming featured events (click for more info):

Absolute Love
Miriam's Legacy
Hiking Club

I Can't Thank You Enough

There’s an interesting Youtube video that’s been buzzing around the web recently. It depicts a double rainbow captured in Yosemite, California. Nice, but how has that managed to garner several million views in a world where people are looking for the next crazy thing? The real magic of the video is in the running commentary of the guy behind the camera. Talk about emotional! He expresses such profound appreciation for the phenomenon that it’s hard not to be moved.





At first, it seems this fellow gets a bit carried away with his experience of something so simple. But is that really the case? Hashem put rainbows in the sky as the sign of a covenant that he made with us so many years ago. Maybe we should all take a whole lot more notice. In fact, there’s even a bracha for such an event. Upon seeing a rainbow, one should say:

Baruch ata Ado-nai Elo-heinu melech ha'olam zocher ha'bris v'ne'eman bivriso v'kayam b'ma'amaro.

Blessed are You, Hashem, our G-d, who remembers the treaty, is trustworthy in His treaty, and fulfills His word.

Double Rainbow Guy never uses these words, but the sentiment is hard to miss:
Thanks, G-d, for being so amazing.

Gratefully yours,

Rabbi Shmulik Yeshayahu

Hey, Man. Do You Have Change for the HST?

I recently spoke to a friend who lives in Toronto. I asked him about the anti-HST activities taking place in Ontario. He had no idea what I was talking about. I was shocked. Anyone who lives in B.C. is well aware of the much publicized and strongly supported anti-HST petitions circulating throughout the province. Why here and not there? Why this issue and not the hundreds of others that cross our radar every year?

Remember Dr. Martin Luther King's historic “I Have a Plan” speech? No? That’s because he never made such an address. He understood that a revolutionary idea is one that yanks at the heart, evokes emotion, and incites passions. Logical blueprints for reaching rational goals just don’t cut it when you’re trying to whip a crowd into an inspired frenzy. People will get behind a dream. Start merely planning, and you’re on your own.



Just looking back throughout human history (Jewish and otherwise), it’s clear that any movement started for personal gain–fame, money, wives etc.–was ultimately dwarfed by those launched with loftier goals such as of freedom, empowerment, and justice. It turns out that former B.C. Premier Bill Vander Zalm is illustrating an idea found in Pirkei Avos:

“Any argument for the sake of heaven will endure; an argument not for
the sake of heaven will not endure.”

If you are fighting for mere things, the fire in your belly tends to go out when you get what you want. But a fight to promote an idea takes on a life of its own. It goes far beyond a simple initiative; It is the stuff of revolutions.

Anthropologist Margaret Mead may have said it best:

“Never underestimate the power of a few committed people to change the
world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

So, whether we look at issues such as women’s rights, ecology, civil rights, religious freedom or–on a very current and local level–crushing the HST, we see that passionate people with a strong opinion and higher purpose are the most effective agents of change.


Be the change,

Rabbi Shmulik Yeshayahu

Upcoming featured events (click for more info):

Absolute Love
Miriam's Legacy

Beautiful Thoughts on the Beautiful Game

Imagine if FIFA were to decide that professional soccer is just not fair. If, in their estimation, players on losing teams were left too bummed out after unsuccessful matches, prophets of game outcomes were being publicly ridiculed when they missed the mark, and rabid fans were beside themselves when their favourite team choked in a big match. In short, there were just too many elements that aren’t happy, upbeat and “nice.” Imagine if the governing body of the sport decided to carefully monitor all games and constantly move players around in order to keep things perpetually, strictly equal. Participation ribbons for everyone. No surprises. Ever.

Where’s the fun in that?

The whole point of the sport–any sport–is to train hard and play hard. Moreover, it is to win. Without the carrot of the championship cup or ring, why would anyone put in all that time and energy?

Similarly, instead of just plopping humanity down onto the playing field of life and assuring everyone a smooth ride, Hashem has given us the opportunity for personal growth by placing obstacles in our paths. And he gave us all a spirit that longs to rise to the challenge and thrives on the thrill of victory.

Our experience in the world can very easily be expressed in terms of a soccer game. We are all here on one massive team and our collective goal is to move forward together down the playing field. As we travel, we must concentrate our intentions on the goal of doing mitzvot and generally making the world a better place, whilst also not being taken out by the many obstacles we encounter. Luckily, our daily struggles don’t involve sweaty men in shorts running toward us at high speed. Well, at least, not on most days.

We want to win. G-d wants us to win. And when we do, there is a sense of real joy and pride in a job well done. When we earn it, it feels spectacular. Sure, there are some days when we would just like G-d to figure it all out for us and send the answers down like manna from heaven. In the end, though, wouldn’t that be just like watching a soccer match in which no one breaks a sweat, the fans don’t even bother to show up and no ever actually wins? Thankfully, G-d gives us the opportunity for way more thrills and excitement than that.

And all without the vuvuzelas.


Remember to give it your all,

Rabbi Shmulik Yeshayahu


This week's featured events (click for more info):

Kollel Hiking Club
Singles (20-35) Dinner

P.S. Three guesses as to where you'll find a certain rabbi on Sunday at 11:30...

A Very Good Place to Start: