Happiness comes from within.
You’ve heard that before. Yet when you stop everything you are doing and meditate on who you are and what you stand for, do you find happiness? If you deny yourself all the material pleasures of the world, will you be happy? I would hope not…
So what does it mean when they say that happiness comes from within? Before answering that, we must first understand the meaning of the word happiness. According to dictionary.com, happiness is “good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy”.
I look at that definition and see contradictions; if contentment is happiness, who needs good fortune? And really, when was the last time you experienced pleasure and said “Now I have everything I ever needed to be happy”?
What do I do when we don’t like the definition we find online? I make up my own definitions! Let’s start with redefining happiness and pleasure.
Pleasure: Pleasure is a very temporary feeling, it’s a feeling we get when we do something that we physically enjoy. Getting a massage is pleasurable. Eating chocolate gives us pleasure; Coffee-withdrawal, not so much.
Happiness: Happiness is a character trait. I can be happy when I have a headache. I can be unhappy when I’m eating ice cream (although I am experiencing pleasure). Some people are kind, some people are arrogant, some people are happy. Happiness is a description of one’s personality.
It is written about Adar: משנכנס אדר מרבין בשמחה “When Adar comes, joy increases”. If the Talmud is telling us that we must be happy, chances are that happiness is a quality that can be achieved. How do we achieve happiness?
Happiness is an attitude. Happiness comes from a lack of expectation. If you feel that you deserve a million dollars then you will not be happy with only $900,000 dollars. On the other hand, if you expect to make $60,000 a year, and you get a $1000 bonus, you are delighted. When you don’t expect a lot from life, you appreciate even the smallest of gifts.
Adar is a time to reflect on who you are. You are one of more than 6 billion people in the world! You represent an insignificant dot in the enormity of the world, yet Someone cared enough to give you everything you have. It’s amazing to think about.
When we stop feeling entitled to what we have, the smallest things can fill our hearts with joy. Waking up healthy in the morning, a sunny day, a best friend, a steady job; these are things that we can decide to be thankful for or to take for granted. It is up to you. Do you choose to be happy?
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